Closure

It’s interesting what people say at funerals.

Recently I participated in my uncle’s memorial service. He was married to my aunt so he was an uncle by marriage. After the service we gathered for a time of refreshment and “fellowship” (I love that word). It was that time in the gathering where we have food and conversation. It’s the only time we are legally permitted to have triangular shaped sandwiches. When they pulled the walls back where the food was waiting the triangular shaped sandwiches appeared on cue. I know you can picture it!

As we stood around talking, someone made an interesting comment.

“Well, hopefully this will bring some closure for their family.” It came from a good heart I know but before I new it words came out of my mouth. “Closure? Whoever came up with that idea really didn’t know what they were talking about.” This was 101 in how to kill a conversation.

Later that day it got me thinking. What is closure? Why do we call it closure when we lose a loved one? I don’t want closure. I might be wrong (I have been wrong once this year) but “closure” to me is a picture of a closed door and whatever is behind it can no longer been seen, experienced, or even accessed.

I speak from experience having lost my father when I was 11 years old. I have never had closure on that part of my life and to be truthful I don’t think I want closure .

You see, I view that time in my life as something that has molded me to be the person I am today. If I had gotten closure and moved on I don’t think that I would be honoring my father. I have seen so much “good” come from that painful experience.

What I have learned about that open door is that I have become a better:

Leader

Communicator

Teacher

Father

Husband

Friend

Blogger (there must be another word for that - it sounds funny)

…. all because of that experience in my life.

I wonder if God is not interested in closure? I wonder if it’s something that we have come up with to make us feel better. Maybe we should stop thinking about closure and simply allow this pain to become part of who God wants us to become.

Just Sayin!