Thursday, May 26, 2011

The ache

I use my blog to find everyday life happenings and connect them with God. If God is at work in my life and yours then it will be the everyday things that we experience Him in. This entry is a little different, it has a more personal feel to it as you are about to read (assuming you read beyond this opening) I post with some hesitation as well.

There has been something that has been aching inside of me now for some time. I could not put my finger on it but I think I am getting clarity.

My private ache is this: I have turned my walk with God into a profession. Because I work in a church I have seen how I have allowed my "public passion exceed my personal devotion to him" (I read that found myself identifying).

During an extended time away from work it became real clear to me that I was not loving God/Jesus with my whole heart, mind and strength. My job was getting in the way. Jesus tells us that we are to love him with our whole being and I was missing that.

Have I walked away from Jesus? Not at all but I know that I have allowed my walk with him to become professional. The intimacy of my walk with him was missing. My love for him had faded.

There is this funny movie that stars Will Smith and Kevin James. You might remember it - Hitch. It's a movie about this guy who has developed a business of hooking people up, essentially helping them find love. It's very funny if you have never seen it.

There is this scene where KJ character confronts WS character and he tells him he doesn't get love. WS character yells, "love is my life", KJ responds, "no love is your job." I was in a hotel room in Kentucky with my family when that scene unfolded and I thought this is me. My walk with God has become my job. (don't you hate it when movies reveal something about yourself)

You probably don't work in a church like I do but maybe you are a church going person, I want to ask. Have you allowed your walk with God to become routine or ritualistic? Is it so predictable that you are bored out of your mind?

Today maybe together we can find a new path that will have fresh new steps to it. Maybe today we can say no more ruts or routine. Maybe today it can become new and alive again.

It might just be me but I know I need to change something.

Just Sayin!

1 comment:

  1. Very true, Ron, very true. It's so very easy to allow your profession to get in the way of your life. It's a terrible, but beautiful, burden to be a "man of god" - but that means you are always in the 'on' position.

    Perhaps a sabbatical is in order for ya. A little time away to re-connect in a personal, rather than professional manner.